No, I said meet me in the park to BUY CRACK.

He's a pedal-phile

He's a little bike curious.

If that's what the birds over here shit, I'm wearing armor.

"We've literally thrown everything we got at him, he just won't go down..."

Another three-piece suit ruined by novelty cuff links.

It's a schwinn-schwinn situation.

Just because he's darker, we all assume he's stealing the bikes.

This is also the park with the infamous Kite-Eating Tree.

Like the Venus fly trap, The Portland Bike Goblin lures in its prey with something irresistable before devouring it whole.

This statue really... Spoke to me...

Johnny Goodwell, Inventor of Unicycles was still harassed by bicycle hooligans about the error of his ways even after death and a commemorative statue.

The look of frustration said it all, Ralph was sick of never finding the right sized bike.

In dawned on Williams that trading his wife for 2 bicycles left him with no one to go riding with.

After weighing his options, Julius decided, "Fuck it. I'll just drive."