Disgusted, city worker Bob called his superiors to tell them that some sick punks had spilled blue paint in the blood fountain.

"Phil, have you fixed the pump yet?... Phil?"

The signs of the Apocalypse shall be many and three fold- The rivers and waters of the earth shall run red. Enormous men shall converse on handheld devices. And enormous sacks of flour will fall from the sky.

His parachute failed where?

The statue in the wishing fountain was not very fond of coin looters.

"Call the Blood Bank and see if they got our chlorine again."

Hello Father? It's Tony, listen, I was downtown today and I noticed the fountain in city squared was turning to blood and i... oh, it's happening everywhere? Right. Okay. So I... repent, be with loved ones, gotcha. Prepare for the Rapture. Uh huh. Al

In order to increase terror awareness, Homeland Security installs color-coded dye into the tap water so that people will know the terror level with the simple turn of a faucet. Perhaps unsurprisingly, people still don't care.

Finding a giant, unused tampon in the middle of the city is like squeezing blood from a dolphin-raping statue.

"Listen, punk. That's a neat trick, but it's gonna take a lot more than that to prove to me that you're God."

"Honey, would you just look at the fountain please?"
"We saw the fountain last time we came here, Melissa. It's boring. You're boring."

Yes I've used the WIND CREST! and I've put the CHEMICAL in the fountain, now what do I do with the RED JEWEL because it keeps telling me "you can't use that here"!?

Hey, boss? I don't think we should dump bodies in the sewer no more.

10 minutes and 20 bodies later, the mermaid still needed more souls.

For the 78th time that day; Steve missed his mouth with those damn Strawberries.