She's cute but I'm more of a butt man.

The Good Tumor Man

As creepy as this guy is, you don't want to see what the vibrator salesman has to wear.

Be warned lady, he's the most passive-agressive serial killer you'll ever meet.

Lung cancer, take the path on the left. Brain cancer's on the right.

No one bothered to tell Kathy that Body Language doesn’t work on cellphones.

"See, Gloria, no matter how hard I try to quit, it's like cigarettes are following me everywhere... see? There's a giant one stalking me now! What? No, I am NOT off my meds!"

Even if he did ask that girl out, they could never go to a restaurant.

Destined to be the last purveyor of fine smokes, Rick went about beheading all his fellow vendors in an all-day rampage

The guy riding the Camel won the race about 15 minutes ago. Sorry.

Jeff learns that there is a difference between a restraining order and mockery

Segregation Kills

You TOTALLY misinterpreted Sir Mixalot.

I wish I could quit you.

OMG Becky, you should see the butt on this guy!