Swiss Army Wife

If you pull up her skirt you'll find the bottle opener.

The high priestess of Flying Spaghetti Monsterism is officially martyred for her beliefs.

We never should have registered at Bloodbath & Beyond.

She wore white, but everybody could see that the bride had been forked by pretty much anybody who wanted to.

"And do you take Mary to be your beloved wife? Think about it. I mean really take your time, because those are whisks. You don't want to get mixed up with whisks."

"Don't you dare come to my wedding with a stain on your dress ever again."

Canadian brain surgery is not as advanced as in the U.S.

Wow, when I got the wedding invitation and circled "bride" as my dinner choice, I thought it was a mistake...

Bride: The other White Meat

Italy's Statue of Liberty paid tribute to both its culinary and "waste management" heritage.

Nymforkmania ... know the signs

"Wait, let's have scissors in her head instead...or better yet, her hands could be scissors. And let's use a guy...Johnny Depp. Also, the movie would be more exciting if she wasn't dead."

If anyone here can show due cause why these two shall not be wed... whoa, that many, huh?

Slim Jim pictured here with his new wife