Jim tearfully says good bye to his Pet Rock, which had finally grown too large for his apartment and had to be released back into the wild.

"Hello, 911? Yeah, he's gone and got it stuck in a rock this time."

The Russian "rock, paper scissors" championship gets off to a great start...

"That's ok Pluto... You'll always be FAR more than a planetoid to me..."

There's a better way to kill ants, but you can't tell Sven anything when he's drunk.

"I passed this damn kidney stone, and I am going to KEEP it!"

Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.... eventually.

"Hey, when the Don wants a friggin' Brontosaurus omelet, the Don gets a friggin' Brontosaurus omelet."

From that day on, Lance's wife was never able to complain about the pain of childbirth in his presence.

Polish hit men watch for their victim to pass by on the street below.

Just out of frame, there's another guy fighting a pair of scissors.

It wasn't pleasant...but he breastfed it until it was old enough to eat solid foods.

Sisyphus finally had a coaching squad, but he still couldn't crest the hill.

The egg, warmed by Ivan's love, soon hatched. The demon-spider babies ate well that night.

How baby pebbles are made...