Gradually, Jeff began to realize that this anti abortion rally was not worth getting laid

Help control the slacker population. Please, spay and neuter your hippies.

Well, if you know a better way to dry babies, why don't you tell us!

This is more or less how my parents told me where babies come from

Theres an abortion joke in here somewhere, but I can't hear it over the fucking music.

This is just like the dream I always have after I donate sperm

Studies have shown that inanimate objects react just like humans when exposed to accordion music.

Everything is going accordion to plan.

Every time someone doesn't give them money, they will hang another baby.

The shortage of skilled labor has hit the child care industry the hardest.

Baby oil is not quite as sexy once you know where it comes from.

Groupies are always too young

Street urchins, now in regular, barbecue and nacho cheese.

"Okay! I'll adopt one! Just stop this horror, for the love of God!"

And now we know stem cells can't grow talent.