"I'm from your HMO. You the guy with the blocked colon?"

I was underwhelmed to discover that all he does is make coffee

What Republicans think gay marriage will lead to, somehow.

It didn't matter how many drills were attached to his body, Titanius still couldn't fill the hole in his heart

The Colonoscopy Bot: horrifically saving lives everywhere

Early models of the terminator were easy to spot.

Drill Sergeants are fucking scary where I'm from.

The "Toy Story" franchise has taken a very dark turn.

"Honey! The babysitter is here!"

They all laughed at me in shop class, but we'll see who's laughing now!

Despite his clever imagination, Ben was always going to be a rapist.

Those lifelike machine noises you hear are actually generated by Eddie Winslow from the Police Academy movies.

It's always easy to tell which parents helped their kids with their science projects.

All it wants is love...maybe.

"We're off to see the wizard, the murderous Wizard of Oz!"