You know what I hate most about mowing the lawn? The screams.

All those tree huggers from the 60's are going to have a lot of explaining to do...

After years of neglect, the lawn finally got up and walked away.

Never spread mulch on an Indian burial ground.

Okay, BP. Mother Nature is finally coming to personally kick your ass.

Zombies by Pottery Barn

See? People were experimenting with terminators 1,000 years ago.

Honey, did you hire that emo art major to rake our yard again?

I think we should maybe get out of here, this guy has been slowly approaching for an hour

Somewhere, there are four hobos walking around with free scarecrow outfits

Although many children were scarred for life, they finally kept off the damn lawn.

HBO's Deadwood as directed by Tim Burton

Cracked Gardening Tip #1: Adding sculptures distracts from the fact that you're not taking care of your yard at all.

Get off my lawn, punk-ass birches.

They are here to tell Greenpeace to take it down a notch.