But will it make you a sandwich?
Your wife would never have found out if you had just hid the hookers in the closet, but nooooo, you had to get creative!
I think I lost my keys in the cracks of the chair, but I dont dare look for them until the company leaves.
Putting a small flower in any room always adds a little class.
These girls are ready, willing, and table.
The only bad part is that there are a lot of awkward boners when the guys come over to play poker...
The only things I got to keep after the divorce
"Ha, and they said my hobbies couldn't be combined!"
I can't wait until my toilet arrives
"Grab the shotgun... the other chair escaped!!"
How to keep your parents from visiting: Tip #328.
Now that's recycling.
"What missing women, officer?"
Even serial killers can be interested in design
When I told you his new girlfriend is a doormat, I seriously meant a doormat.