Craptions Classics June 08, 2010

Suffering from severe OCD, MC Hammer develops the perfect means to prevent you from touching this

niceminnesota

Other Craptions

"I said I WOULDN'T have sex with you even if you wore a full body condom filled with hand sanitizer."

Kelly Robinson

Aquaman finally figured out a way to fight those pesky land-based villians...

mackmaven

Oh sure, the water suit looks ridiculous and is totally impractical, but call it the i-Suit and it will sell millions...

Backinblack

Mr. Freeze: De-frosted

Rhymenstein

X-Men Origins: Ice-Man looks pretty lame to me.

Versus

When he uses filthy language, his parents mix him with soap.

lunarnaut

The only thing it doesn't protect against is the mocking ridicule of children

metsfan

After starring in one episode of Spongebob, Bubble Buddy's career took a less kid-friendly direction.

spectre_vampire

"H2O Boy" was the city's greatest hero until he had a run-in with his greatest nemesis, "Opened Box of Blue Jell-O"

JerkassStallone

Rumor has it The H20Boy II will be "ribbed for her pleasure."

FoxyBrown

"I replaced my whole body with silicon, and now I feel like a boob."

Kelly Robinson

The Justin Bieber containment suit is still in the experimental phase, but once it's completed the world will be a much, much better place.

RodneyHardman

Recommended beachwear from Louisiana to Florida.

jtklove

Even amoebas are obese in America.

Kelly Robinson
Choosing to "Like" Cracked has no side effects, so what's the worst that could happen?

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