Suffering from severe OCD, MC Hammer develops the perfect means to prevent you from touching this

"I said I WOULDN'T have sex with you even if you wore a full body condom filled with hand sanitizer."

Aquaman finally figured out a way to fight those pesky land-based villians...

Oh sure, the water suit looks ridiculous and is totally impractical, but call it the i-Suit and it will sell millions...

Mr. Freeze: De-frosted

X-Men Origins: Ice-Man looks pretty lame to me.

When he uses filthy language, his parents mix him with soap.

The only thing it doesn't protect against is the mocking ridicule of children

After starring in one episode of Spongebob, Bubble Buddy's career took a less kid-friendly direction.

"H2O Boy" was the city's greatest hero until he had a run-in with his greatest nemesis, "Opened Box of Blue Jell-O"

Rumor has it The H20Boy II will be "ribbed for her pleasure."

"I replaced my whole body with silicon, and now I feel like a boob."

The Justin Bieber containment suit is still in the experimental phase, but once it's completed the world will be a much, much better place.

Recommended beachwear from Louisiana to Florida.

Even amoebas are obese in America.