I told you not to put pop rocks in the Stargate.

I can't help but think that hiring an interior designer for the Large Hadron Collider was a waste of money

Meanwhile, at BP's radiation containment facility...

Fat people need tanning beds too

The first thing the gay aliens did after they invaded was to make everything fabulous.

It does that when someone pees in the pool.

Once the lens is finished, NASA will have built the world's largest solar powered ant frying device.

....And that was the last time I did acid at the circus.

These Indiana Jones films are just getting weirder

Chuck Norris' cock ring.

Only Japan would build a toilet for Godzilla

Indiana Jones and the Temple of Fabulous

A billion dollars, you say? I want the party to be cool, but that's a bit out of my price range. Do you have any glow sticks?

A Scientologist machine devoted to cleansing people of the purple which possesses them.

Mankind, having it up to here with mosquitoes, develops the mother of all bug zappers.