So I says to Moses, "Exodus? More like SEXodus, am I right?"

"Myself? No, I never get mugged. I almost fell for a pyramid scheme once though. Sorry. I know you guys are still upset. Don't worry, we'll get your clothes back."

The ladies love him. Must be his pharaohmones.

This always happened to me when I played the Sims...

Don't be ridiculous, nobody is going to recognize me. That's why I'm wearing the sunglasses!

'That's the last time I get Golden Palace Casino to sponsor me in a marathon.' "It could be worse, I got Bob's Adult Diaper Emporium."

Bob. I'm telling you this because I'm your friend. Only idiots wear sneakers and diapers together.

This is by far the lest intimidating street gang I've ever encountered.

You've really accomplished something when the guy wearing underwear and a bib is annoyed by you.

Brett wondered if anyone had noticed the potato

San Francisco's semi-accurate re-enactment of the battle of the bulge.

Sometimes past lives should just stay in the past. Most times, actually.

"We have different definitions of 'Casual Friday', is what I'm saying."

Does PETA even know what they're protesting anymore?

I thought that the Jews were chased out of Egypt, not San Francisco.