"If you keep making that face you'll be stuck like that" -Unknown, Pompeii AD 79
To make pure baby oil, first you must drain all the natural moisture from a baby.
My First Tragic Skin Disease, by Hasbro.
Having a Fantastic Four-Some was a bad idea.
He's being bullied at school by another kid - made of paper.
What gnomes put in their front yards.
Look Medusa, it's your very first baby b-- ...oops.
Lot's son didn't actually look at anything, but he cried a lot, and God hated that too.
And for Christmas I want a pentagram..and and and..candles...and and a tunnel to the nether world....
Games of freeze tag used to have much more devastating consequences
It's a difficult age. You know... the stone age.
Let this be a warning, parents: water your children regularly
That's disgusting. What kind of parents would let their child go out and get plastered?
I use this as a warning to keep those god damned kids OFF MY LAWN.