Spider Pig, Spider Pig
If Spiderman doesn't defeat this guy, diabetes will.
Better start using the heavy duty web.
My spidey sense is tingling! No wait...it's pity and disgust.
With great weight comes great waistline elastic.
After failing to save MJ the last time, Peter Parker hit the bottle and really let himself go
Kevin Smith is too fat for a lot of things.
When Martin's friends told him to get a life, he didn't realize they meant one of his own.
His arch-nemesis? Jenny Craig.
Sorry, i farted
Somewhere, there are parents, drowning their shame in alcohol and pills.
Only a true genius like Peter Parker could have thought of using his webs as a package carrier around the holidays!
In an ill-fated cross-over, Spiderman wound up eating Willy Wonka's blueberry pie gum
Oddly enough, I'm not allowed anywhere near kids' birthday parties...
You're definitely doing it wrong