And that, son, is how I met your mother.

This didn't help the Baldman sell much chocolate, but the lotion store next door sold out by noon.

5 minutes earlier, some guy sprayed those bars with Axe.

When she told me her show was opening on Broadway, I didn't think she meant right on the frigging sidewalk!

They're already taking numbers to see who sniffs the poles first when the women are done

Eight years of gymnastic training for this?

Part of the Obama stimulus package calls for placing scaffolding on major city shopping areas. It won't help the economy, but a lot of people will be stimulated.

Erector Set!

Vote yes on outdoor stripping patios

I've been trying to pick up chicks at regular bars, but they're much easier at the monkeybars.

Don't fall for it! It's a trap!

A Cuntree!

There was a 20-car pileup in midtown today...

The Bald Man eventually had to build a barrier in front of his chocolate shop to keep premenstrual women from ransacking the place.

The Britney Spears College, Est. 2008.