Do you see what I have to put up with EVERY FUCKING DAY?! She looks ridiculous in her costumes!

10:1 she's getting tied to some train tracks.

Ah, the good ol' days when porn kings wore capes and the actresses didn't even pretend to be having a good time.

The Devil went down to Georgia, he was looking for a whore to steal

Verily, I pimpeth this fair strumpet! Do I hear three shillings? Two shillings, sixpence?

I didn't realize Twilight was a remake.

Unngh! Look at that bare arm! I think I'm getting hard!

No, I'm not hiding you naked best friend behind this curtain, don't be ridiculous

Hell looks surprisingly like my first apartment.

Old timey superheroes were as ridiculous as the women's lingerie were unsexy.

And our next item up for bid, some delicious body parts, disassembly required.

Obi Wan Kenobi and Luke's Aunt are about to perform a Jedi mind trick of their own.

Thanks, ancestry.com!

The photo may be black and white, but this picture was taken yesterday in Utah.

How did I attract this woman while looking like I do? Simple! I have $1000.