I'd make a snarky comment, but he's probably getting more than me.

No one's going to Choo-Choo-choose that.

My love for you is like a humidifier with a paper heart on it and robot arms

Wow, Cupid's not even trying anymore.

Well, I guess a surprise is a surprise...

Cupid wasn't the same after his stroke.

It didn't talk much, nor was it cuddly, but it was the only friend Bob had, and he was determined to give it all of his love. At least until he got arrested again.

"Hey, Mindy. I tried to shove it up my ass like you asked, but it didn't fit. Now what do you want me to do with it?"

Typing craptions all alone on Valentines Day is not the only thing I do with my hand.

He remembered. How sweet.

My Dad always struggled when he tried to explain love to me...

A cracked.com craption writer hurrying home to log on.

You know, that's not what they mean when they say "hopeless romantic"

Restraining order, or no restraining order, Grandpa Alfred was going to let that sexy librarian know how he felt.

Ahmed missed the "blending in with your surroundings" class at suicide bombers school.