So somebody DOES give a flying fuck...

OK, now the Kama Sutra is just fucking with us...

Some situations are almost impossible to articulate to the 9-1-1 operator.

Crouching Tiger, Hidden Breakdancer

Alright I'm still hiccupping. Goddammit we've tried everything else.

I told you! It was 69! 96 makes no sense!

69 - FAIL

Is the little white girl in the background smothering her baby!?!

The kids that took 'the floor is lava' a little too seriously...

And I thought one-handed push-ups were hard.

When he said he couldn't get that bitch off his back, I thought he was being metaphorical.

No WAY am I going to join this game of Simon Says.

You have to remember...these are people who eat with chop sticks.

Goddamit, I said you're gonna try yoga, you're GONNA TRY YOGA!

in ten seconds they turn into robots... which then join together to make a great big robot which then attacks Tokyo...