Exhibit A in the case for circumcision.

"Every time you masturbate… David kills a puppy"

Thank God I' m a cat.

Puppy-brand condoms: ribbed for her pleasure.

The Happy Pal pet food company released there controversial "Give a dog a bone" ad campaign to a howl of protests.

PETA's recent anti-fur ad campaign was devastatingly effective.

Hasselhoff gets all the fine bitches.

Damn those Germans and thier freaky porn

What the hell? I was searching for "christoper walken + cowbell" and this came up. Fuck you Google.

Ever since the FDA made ipecac prescription-only, bulimics everywhere have had to resort to visual aids.

John Cheese circa 1985

No one appreciated David's brand new porn company... Hoffcore Porn went bankrupt 3 weeks later.

Sure, all smiles NOW, but later those puppies would be used to upholster K.I.T.T.............

You don't even WANT to know what he did to the Hasselhoff's monkey, Bobo.

David Hasselhoff unwittingly supplies another excellent argument in the war against civil liberties.