Plan? No, we're just winging it.

Birds of a feath...the fuck does he have a yellow laser shooting out his asshole?

Even though it was a punishment, Steve secretly loved being tarred and feathered

The chicken crossed the road to get the fuck away from this guy!

Good to see Nick Cage is getting back to work.

If he sees you naked, he'll try to do unpheasant things to you...

The Birdman of Alcatraz eventually was released, but he never really readjusted to society...

"Yes, it is a beautiful suit sir, but I'm still going to have to arrest you. Bald Eagles are an endangered species, and it seems like you skinned about 30 or 40 to make that thing…"

The little-known but proud and militant Swiffer tribe.

"No no no, I'm NOT bidding, I'm just stretching my wings! I really DON'T have $80,000!"

The wind beneath his wings could use a little magical roll-on...

2010...Day 30. Still no Asians!

The punishment in South America for scratching your ass in public is brutal but fair, and ensures it will never happen again.

He was going to have to sacrifice a human baby to break the curse of the WereChicken...

Never get your sex advice from Animal Planet.