"Look at the size of his 'wood'!" "Steve, one more pun and I swear I'll fucking kill you"

Why am I the only tree hippies won't hug?

You're so racist. That's not an oak, that's an elm. What, so all trees look alike to you?

To Catch A Hobbit, next on Dateline.

Okay, I'm here!!! Where all the white Beeches at?!!

Luckily, no one noticed his morningwood.

It was a cool costume until he was accosted by two young lovers who scarred him for life with their initials.

An ent with a wooden staff? Wouldn't that be like me walking around with a severed leg?

Should have taken the red pill.

"Man... I really need to drop a LOG, do you know where the Little Saplings room is?"

"No, I've never heard of Burning Man? Why do you aAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGRRRRRRRRRRHHHHHHHH!"

Oh shit, a carpenter convention !!

The Ent Zone

Keith Richards is looking better than ever

Pinocchio hasn't aged well.