Thank GOD it doesn't use a joystick.

Fortune says, "You are a pedophile"

Michael Jackson Rape Kit: $9.95

I'm not answering that question, this is a set-up if I ever saw one.

They put this thing in the teacher's lounge. If you play it, you're fired.

Apparently it's the fucking heebie jeebies.

In the original ending of Big, the kid suffered a much creepier fate.

Look...it's SpicyNutCheese's dream machine, minus the workable penis.

In case of priest attack, break glass.

My eyes are up here, mister! Reading a question? Yeah right, help! Police!

Papier mache, obviously.

Finding the answer to that question was Michael Jackson's life-long quest.

It runs on Michael Jackson jokes.

this is the creepiest eye-test I've done in a while...

They're made of people!...People!