Looking down at all that cleavage, John's erection threw off his balance.

I for one welcome our Giant and comically unsteady overlords

And that’s how I met your mother.

Uncle Sam is cool, but Auntie EU just looks stupid.

The two things America does best: patriotism and hookers

Does it count as flag burning if that guy hits the power line and starts on fire?

Where will you be when diarrhea strikes?

Proof that all Uncle Sam ever wanted was for Americans to get as high as possible.

America: Home of the free and land of the completely retarded

The wanted Uncle Sam to give a speech but his words were a little stilted.

America did so well in the nuclear arms race, and were looking to repeat in the legs race.

This isn't how I remember them teaching the American Revolution in junior year history...

Joe Biden's recollection of the Revolutionary War.

Don't you hate it when your wife and mistress show up at the same party?

Go Go Gadget PATRIOTISM!!!