Seriously, guys we need to buy a copy of Photoshop.

They always say "Dress for the job you want, not the job you have." Well, I want to nail Ted's wife.

Hey girls c'mon back to our place. We have pictures of huge dicks in our pants.

So you're sure this will get us laid?

And we would have gotten away with it too, if it wasn't for you kids. And Tom's FUCKING PURPLE TIE!

FAKE

We're looking for a poker game.

By disguising themselves, scientists hope to study the corporate douchebag in its natural environment.

Weird, it's like his eyes watch my penis no matter where I move.

Pedophile stock brokers. Stock is up on less creepy "hiding in the office" masks.

For Halloween I want to be a smarmy white guy!

Some are born phony, while others have phoniness thrust upon them.

Nice try, celebrities, but the Grim Reaper is on a rampage, and he's not that easily fooled.

I just feel so detached, you know?

"This time they'll never know who to sue. Bring on the interns!"