Never pop a wheelie with a narcoleptic.

Drag Race!

"If you can read this - the bitch fell off."

WHY DOESN'T HE HAVE BOTH HANDS ON THE HANDLES?! THAT'S SO DANGEROUS!

Note to self: when I go picking up drunk sluts, take the prius

Uhh, Dave, most people most folks put their dead hookers in the trunk...of a CAR!

When the brakes don't work you have to improvise!

And they said my ADD would make this stunt dangero-OH LOOK, a penny!

Everyone in the walgreen's parking lot was just SO impressed

as a safety precaution they are wearing helmets... good for them

Suddenly getting back at her parents seemed to be a poor idea.

"That's all right, Sarah... I don't mind that you're dumping me.... Can I give you a ride home??"

Dave, I think this helmet is too heavy for me!

"Why are you guys not doing anything?! WHY ARE YOU GUYS NOT DOING ANYTHING?!?!?!?!"

....and still Emily wouldn't wake up...