This cock blocks.

...and that's why I was late for work.

WARNING: White man dancing

Warning: Douche-dancing may result in cock-punching.

Warning: May cause bullets to ricochet off your abs while bowling.

I never asked for bouncy balls!!! This superpower sucks.

"Are you telling me I can dodge nut shots?" "No Neo, I'm telling you that if you follow my simple instructions, you won't have to."

Warning: Japanese Gameshow Ahead!

Caution: Do Not Pee After Sex

Sticks and stones will break my bones, but arrows got nothing on my boner!

Warning: urinal may return fire if prevoked

I've got to give my ex-wife credit, at least she warns you.

SSSSS AAAA FFFF TTTT YYYY DDDDD AAAA NNNNN CCCC EEEE SAFTY DANCE!

Caution: America's Funniest Home Videos taping in progress

Steps two, three, and four resulted in him getting decapitated, shit on, and his weiner ripped off!