Symptons of the swine flu may vary.

I told you not to throw bread out for him, now there's TWO!

Don't worry, Madonna will adopt her.

Always wear a condom. Even with your inflatable doll.

Nobody puts baby in a corner, especially if they're black, cause then that would be racist.

"oh yea?!? well you're face looks like my ass!"

As the twins grew older I suspected a little more everyday that my wife had cheated on me.

I don't like drugs anymore.

White vent faced babies be crawlin' walls like this... black vent faced babies be crawlin' walls like that.

The architect told me I would love his variation on traditional gargoyles. Well... I don't.

this is why the octamom needs to stop procreating

It may be a statue, but the pigeons know to stay the fuck away.

Faceless babies climbing walls. Goodbye forever, sleep!

I...I just...holy fuck, I need to go pray or something.

I've had enough of these faceless mutherfuckin' obsidian babies crawlin' on the mutherfuckin' masonry!