well its not exactly the oriental rug I had in mind

Yeah, the wait in the Tokyo ER is kinda long.

Tom Cruise made the extras of the Last Samurai try his Scientology Kool-Aid.

...and all of a sudden, at 3:00, the Middle ages were over and the Renaissance began.

Playing dead can also help you avoid the pretentious, artsy types.

Looks like pirates win. That answers that questions.

So, let me get this straight... everybody was kung-fu fighting?

You're right! Magnetizing the floor leaves these assholes helpless.

unlike video games, bad guys don't just vaporize when you kill them

Who farted?

Unfortunately, the Mongols invaded at naptime.

"Um, little help here? No? Okay, I'll just lay here and die. Fucking tourists."

CSI: Shanghai

Little known fact: the last samurai's cause of death was asphyxiation due to methane emissions.

IKEA furniture may look interesting, but it just isn't practical.