I told you I bag a lot of chicks.

IT'S A TARP!

Dear diary: Jackpot

The economy is so bad even the hookers are being returned

Keep the hell out of my basement, Cracked!!

holy shit...the terrorists were right about the 72 virgins thing?!

I always find women sexier when they're casually suffocating.

Michael Swaim's basement.

All my sex dolls are dry clean only. It's such a pain.

Fake....fake...fake...REAL...fake...fake

After your face lift, lipo and tummy tuck, we wrap you in medical grade saran wrap...It helps to seal in that "new body" smell.

So that's how you keep dead hookers fresh. Good to know.

CSI: Neverland Ranch

You can't be too careful when it's raining men.

Am I the only one too turned on by this to come up with a funny Craption?