I yearn for the days when all a young Japanese girl had to worry about was tentacle rape. Those were simpler days.

Dear Japan STOP IT! regards the rest of the world

Swan Condoms...Billed for her pleasure!

Finally, a strap-on that both princesses AND hobos can enjoy.

She's got a bigger duck than he does.... That's embarrassing...

Are they trying to advertise their product with a balding, hockey player pedophile Hitler? Because that's genius.

Earmuffs and alcoholic father sold seperately.

Duck, Dick, Goose...

I've always called upon the power of the Majestic Swan when I make love. You know me too well, Japan.

Super Mario and Princess Peach are the only choice to advertise our Inflatable wild swan. Get it done, Mr. Miyamoto.

The Swan Princess is actually a porno in Japan

The ugly duckling was actually a beautiful swan... penis... The end.

Before textbooks were invented: "I'll just hide my massive erection with this strategically placed duck..."

Pants with duck-sized hole in crotch sold seperately.

And this is EXACTLY why geese fly south for the winter, Japan!