Dude, no matter how much scientific evidence you present, she's just not gonna go for anal.

I'm with a naked chick. High five.

Hello, aliens. We are weak, fleshy creatures of skin and bone. Here is where we live. Please rape us. -Humanity

Will this be on the final?

Solve for xxx.

Well it's a hell of a lot simpler than trying to make sense of Creationism.

Watchmen really did suck...

If I'd known calculus was so sexy, I might have actually studied.

This demonstration was sent along the Voyager spacecraft to any aliens that might encounter it in the future. It shows the position on Earth in the solar system, and describes the humans who inhabit it. Yes, I am a nerd.

I wonder which is bigger, Uranus or his?

40 Crack-ups. Dec. 15 Craption. I'm calling you out again Fkelleghan. Please try something original. This is the second time you reused a craption.

Dear Earth, Please send no more pics. We will not provide you with penile enhancements. You will need to evolve decent genitals on your own. Sincerely, Aliens.

Hi, I'm Dr. Manhattan, and this is Malin Akerman. We're here to teach you about astrology.

This is actually a really simple diagram of the Clinton administration.

You see? Even God needed blueprints!