This is Channel 9 reporter Olivia Brown, reporting on what seems to be an outbreak of down syndrome.

"... this is Jane, wondering who I have to sleep with to cover a real news story around here. Back to you, Rob."

The winner will be the guy who stuffs his pillowcase full of bricks.

The terror threat level was immediately raised to "Rainbow" after this attack was made public.

She's reporting a fluff piece.

Yes, terrorists are attacking with all forms of pillows in what local police are calling" a really gay attack"

It wasn't long before the homosexuals and metrosexuals realized they could never live in peace. The war was devastating.

"And, as you can clearly see, my cameraman is being a dick and making me carry all the equipment. Back to you, George."

The carnage here is incredible, Bill. This city has directed its collective anger towards these poor birds. This is a sad day.

A protest turned violent today when the Tooth Fairy took the teeth but left no money.

Yeah, I'm typing this Craption totally nude... well, except for a pair of fuzzy socks. You know you want to vote for this one.

Walter Cronkite's Daughter didn't command anywhere near the respect her father did...

Watch what happens now when I place this metal box in a pillow case and enter the fight ...

Man, I HATE hosting the bukkake porn awards.

Girls Gone Wild: Mormon Edition