If you're a man carrying a purse in public, it feels like the whole world is watching you,

"I TOLD you there'd be cameras. Now aren't you glad I belt-sanded your face off?"

"Foolproof plan, he says. Limited security, he says. Fuckin' asshole..."

IT'S A TRAP!

Swap it out, just like Indiana Jones. No one will notice

Keanu Reeves stunt double.

"Act natural..."

What do you mean we can't identify the culprit!? We have like a hundred cameras watching the area!!!

I swear it moves! Look. LOOK! I can prove it. I'll show you. I'LL SHOW THE WORLD!

Freeze, dummy!

Now that's what I call a stimulus package! (Oh yeah, like I'm the only one who pre-writes craptions and tries to force them to fit the picture)

I would NOT want to play this motherfucker in poker.

"Police! Put down the bag... and wipe that smirk off your face".

"Just a sec, Keanu, we're almost ready... Ok, now ACT!"

Pictured Above: What it felt like to be Muslim in an airport.