Well apparently after capturing God, you are supposed to humiliate him.

Gulliver never recorded the fact that he was gang raped in captivity by the Lilliputians

It's important to educate people about prostate cancer. But not that important.

And Where Did The Borrowers Touch You?

Giant hunting has been outlawed in most countries, but Japan has yet to ban it

This year in history Santa's minions conquered the greatest threat to their toy empire: Nintendo.

2058: the year man captured god, tied him down, and molested him

"THIS IS WHAT YOU GET FOR POINTING AT ME!"

WE FOUND WALDO!! And this time, he's not leaving.

WOW MOMMY! THAT INFLATABLE COWBOY IS SHITTING ELVES!!!

Quick guys!..Help us get him up....He's our designated driver...

When Santa gets drunk, HE FUCKING GETS DRUNK

In other news the rouge maceys parade blimp is in custody today after a gut wrenching three day stand off. Sources tell us the crack SWATT (Santa's With Attitude Tactics and Trouble) team is credited with bringin down the criminal.

The annual cum-shot world championships.This years theme: Elves whacking off to Santa and Mrs.Clause gettin jiggy with it !

So that's where the gigantic green finger goes!