Wow, masturbation must feel infinitely better when you can detach your arms.

I never feel comfortable shopping at the Gap.

get out of my basement cracked

A simple "I quit" would have been sufficient. You didn't have to get so creative.

I think the craption contests are undergoing a concentrated effort to make me gay.

Freddie vs. Jason got fingered

Voted out of the orgy, Ken was forced to improvise.

Somewhere, Sigmund Freud is laughing his ass off.

Playboy's new issue: The Women of Warcraft

ACORN HQ readies the Obamatrons for voting!

Victoria's deep, dark secret.

What were they thinking? That ones fully clothed.

in an alternate universe Ed Gein was a successful fashion designer

The financial crisis hit the mannequin population hardest. Most lost the shirts off their backs, some lost an arm and a leg.

Which one is real? The answer may surprise you.