Zwarte Piet, Kid-Kicking and The Worst Tattoo Ever: The Daily Nooner (EST)!

Awesome Video Of The Day The Three Layers of Zwarte Piet Christmas might be behind us, but I think this video of Zwarte Piet kicking some kid in the face transcends the holiday season. There are three layers to understanding why this 12 second video is funny. I have some time to kill right now, so I'd be more than happy to walk you through them if you're interested. Zwarte Piet (aka Black Pete) is a black slave from Spain who was emancipated by the Dutch Santa Claus (Sinterklaas). Rather than enjoy his freedom alone, he opted instead to accompany Saint Nick on his travels. If Dutch children are good, Zwarte Piet will bring them presents. If they're bad, he'll "stuff them in his huge dufflebag and spirit them away to Spain." That is the first layer. To continue the grand tradition of Zwarte Piet, the Netherlands have to embrace institutionalized minstrel shows. That's the second layer in a nutshell. The third layer is the fact that a kid gets kicked in the face. I'm not sure if that constitutes its own layer of hilarity, but even if it's just two layers total I'm pretty sure this video is still hilarious. You know - because foreign cultures are weird and it's funny when kids get kicked in the face.
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The Worst Tattoo Of All Time There comes a time in every man's life when he takes a look at his accomplishments, takes a moment to ponder them, and decides to get a tattoo of a chick wtih giant tits on his leg. For most of us that's where it ends, but some of us take it a step further. And by some of us, I mean this dude right here. I've never really valued the smoothness of my calf, the way the skin follows the bone and muscle in a more-or-less organic way, but maybe that's because I've never HAD SILICONE IMPLANTED IN MY LEG TO GIVE A TATTOO FAKE TITS. I'm not real big on shorts, but I bet this guy is. If you go through the trouble of giving your tattoo a boob job I'd imagine you'd want to show it off. For a while, anyway. My guess is within five years this guy will be wearing pants year-round. Then his one friend will be like, "Dude, why aren't you showing off Betty?" and he'll be like "Who's Betty?" and his friend will be like "You know... BETTY?! The tattoo?!" Then he'll sign off of AIM real quick, eat some Ho Hos, prank his ex-girlfriend from 7 years ago and watch the Cheaters marathon until he falls asleep on his mom's couch.
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