Zoey 101 Returns to the Air, and Yet Lizzie McGuire Goes Unrenewed. What is the World Coming to?

Leave it to the intrepid Spears gals not to let a little thing like a surprise teen pregnancy keep them down. They're almost exactly like the Hardy Boys, if the Hardy Boys had a book called The Hardy Boys and the Mystery of the Staggering Series of Personal Setbacks. Well, now Spears the younger has decided to finish out the fourth and last season of her hit (in the sense that I've never seen it, and I'm totally out of touch with popular culture) TV series Zoey 101, which I imagine from the name tells the story of 101 adorable teenage girls who escape being skinned alive by a wicked governess. Naturally, her pregnancy will have some minor effect on the course of the series--writers will likely have to abandon the “Zoey plans to attend and compete in an International Gut-Punching Championship” plot line, for instance—but I think this episode guide pirated off of one of my favorite Nickelodeon forums (I have several) illustrates just how clever they can be. Spoilers ahead!

  • E401: Zoey is in love with Chase, but an offhand comment about some “extra weight” she has put on leaves her down in the dumps. Only her best friends and a night out on the town can help. Let's do it!
  • E402: All the kids at school are puzzled when Zoey trades in her trademark outfits in favor of roomy coats and muumuus. Uh, whatever!
  • E403: When Zoey has a sudden craving for ice cream and pickles, the cafeteria staff have their hands full. Girl power!
  • E404: Chase is thrown for a loop when Zoey takes a job warming whole chickens by carrying them around under her shirt. Say what?!
  • E405: Zoey's big sister drops in for a surprise visit and takes her out of school for the day. Guest starring James Van Der Beek as the receptionist at the Clinic. Hunk alert!
  • E406-410: Zoey recovers at home.
  • E412 (Series Finale): Chase finally reveals his love for Zoey at Senior Prom, but Zoey no longer wants to be touched by a man. Awkward!
  • And in a special Zoey 101 retrospective, Zoey looks at old pictures of herself and cries. Girl, you crazy!
    When not blogging for Cracked, Michael makes list-formatted videos as head writer and co-founder of Those Aren't Muskets!
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