To set the scene: I was sitting in my well-appointed office, legs up on a mahogany desk, wondering in what order I'd like to bang the female cast of the O.C. this week (I was going by height, but considered switching to alphabetically). Suddenly, Youtube CEO Ronny âHardwoodâ Youtube bursts into my office out of breath and tells me that heâs in a bad way.
âA bad way?â I ask, gently sloshing a snifter of Bavarian brandy, âwhat is this, Manhattan in the 20âs? Out with it Hardwood.â
A few sips and a shitload of small talk later, I am informed that Ronnyâs eponymous sketch-delivery service is ailing for lack of quality content. He tells me theyâve tried to drum up some yuks with some sort of competition, but all theyâve attracted are schmucks, schlubbs and schlemiels.
Once again, I reprimand him for the 20âs terms with a quick rap from my leather riding crop. Weâre in bed at this point, but thatâs inconsequential; it was time for me to hit the âAâsâ and I'm not one to let a little business interfere with my pleasure.
âIâll tell you what Iâll do,
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Ronny the Bear. I will deliver to you the finest sketch available, and below cost. It will afflict the viewers with such riotous laughter that they shoot themselves in the fucking face just to make their sides stop aching.â
Ronny thought that was a bit much, so we scaled it back 10%, shot it that afternoon, edited it that night over Chocotinis, and had a team of man-slaves heft it to the Youtube.
Naturally, the 40,000-dollar prize that goes along with the contest doesnât interest a man of my stature, but I suppose I could use the bricks of cash to build a small house for my Pekinese.
Help that small cash house become a reality by voting for the above sketch in said contest.
Click the link, then ânext videoâ till you see ours, and give us the olâ green thumbs up.
You can give all videos thumbs up or down once per day per IP address until the 15th, so really go nuts here.
Hell, star it up too while you're at it.
Double-hell, if you really liked it that much, why not Digg it to the front page and actually give us a shot at winning this thing?
Triple-hell, why not tattoo a screencap on your junk? Remember, Ronnyâs counting on you.
When not blogging for Cracked, Michael OH GOD PLEASE VOTE FOR OUR SKETCH! OUR CAMERA'S ON ITS LAST LEGS AND MY MOM NEEDS AN ORGAN TRANSPLANT AND JESUS GOD PLEEEEEEEASE! THEY'RE GONNA TAKE MY LUNGS!