YouTube Contest Brings Crushing Reality To Delusional Blogger

While this blog has done a fairly good job of documenting my chest hair, I regret to say there is frighteningly little else that has been revealed about me. Those of you who had the diligence to go to my website learned that my first name is Wayne and that I live in Maine. But what else have you gathered? Not much. It's true. When it comes to blogging, I play it pretty close to the vest. Indeed, so close, that I've apparently managed to keep things even from myself. For example, I've only recently discovered that somehow in the last few years, I've managed to gain about 25 pounds. See, in my delusional mind, I was still the grungy frontman for Ithaca's greatest band, Slowburn (pictured in the top left). Not that I was Brad Pitt, but let's just say I was someone Daniel O'Brien wouldn't kick out of bed. But as revealed by my entry in YouTube 's recent video contest, I've become something of a tubby, little bastard. And not all the bad lighting, poor sound, or continuity errors in the world can change that. Anyway, I realize now my contest entry might be disqualified because it refers to a public figure which apparently YouTube says you can't do. (Although last year's second place winner had a George Bush impersonator in it?) In any event, if it somehow makes it into the top 20, people will be asked to vote on it, but let's not worry about that yet. Just enjoy the way I've let myself go and hopefully you'll like some of the jokes too. I'm also using this somewhat unorthodox blog post to announce that I bought an eliptical yesterday and I intend to chronicle my weight loss. You, dear Cracked Blog readers, are truly blessed.

Check out some more Gladstone over HERE. And his latest YouTube video HERE.
To turn on reply notifications, click here

43 Comments

Load Comments

More Blogs

5 People Who Learned A Horrible Truth About Themselves On TV

The main benefit of watching TV is seeing the plight of sad bastards who aren't you.

78

14 Dumb Health Products Pretending To Be Ancient Secrets

The 'wellness' market is thriving right now.

175

5 Annoying Things They Don't Tell You About Being A Parent

Most people have a pretty basic idea of what it's like to be a parent.

124

5 New (And Strangely Plausible) Conspiracy Theories

There's no shortage of downright absurd conspiracy theories out there.

162

5 Impressive Scams People Used To Get Out Of Work

Some days you just don't want to go to work.

77

5 Crucial Things To Remember About Our Wretched Hellscape

Let's not get too crazy, kids.

144