YouTube Contest Brings Crushing Reality To Delusional Blogger

While this blog has done a fairly good job of documenting my chest hair, I regret to say there is frighteningly little else that has been revealed about me. Those of you who had the diligence to go to my website learned that my first name is Wayne and that I live in Maine. But what else have you gathered? Not much. It's true. When it comes to blogging, I play it pretty close to the vest. Indeed, so close, that I've apparently managed to keep things even from myself. For example, I've only recently discovered that somehow in the last few years, I've managed to gain about 25 pounds. See, in my delusional mind, I was still the grungy frontman for Ithaca's greatest band, Slowburn (pictured in the top left). Not that I was Brad Pitt, but let's just say
Continue Reading Below


I was someone Daniel O'Brien wouldn't kick out of bed. But as revealed by my entry in YouTube 's recent video contest, I've become something of a tubby, little bastard. And not all the bad lighting, poor sound, or continuity errors in the world can change that. Anyway, I realize now my contest entry might be disqualified because it refers to a public figure which apparently YouTube says you can't do. (Although last year's second place winner had a George Bush impersonator in it?) In any event, if it somehow makes it into the top 20, people will be asked to vote on it, but let's not worry about that yet. Just enjoy the way I've let myself go and hopefully you'll like some of the jokes too. I'm also using this somewhat unorthodox blog post to announce that I bought an eliptical yesterday and I intend to chronicle my weight loss. You, dear Cracked Blog readers, are truly blessed.

Check out some more Gladstone over HERE. And his latest YouTube video HERE.
To turn on reply notifications, click here


Load Comments

More Blogs

15 Things Socially Awkward People Need To Know

Don't sweat the small stuff.


5 People Who Abused Their Power For Terrible Music Careers

Most rich kids just want to be pop stars.


5 Weirdly Specific Movie Tropes That Are Suddenly Everywhere

How did these hyper-specific tropes spread so quickly?


4 Dark Alternate Theories About Famous Hollywood Deaths

The Hollywood rumor mill has been playing games with celebrity deaths for at least a century.


4 Movies From The Past That Nailed 2020 America

Nothing is new. These movies are proof.


4 Accolades That Don't Really Mean Anything Anymore

It's easy to work the system and win these awards even if you don't deserve them.