Many people have asked me how I manage to bring such a scientific approach to writing jokes about penises and dicks. It actually goes back to my seventh grade science class when I wrote the joke, "Hey, Mr. Higgins, I don't need to dissect this pig fetus to know what's inside it!" I never got to finish the joke because of the sudden onset of symptoms from a pig disease no human body was expecting to catch. Baffled doctors told me I'd never walk again without it being towards sex with a ham, but I never lost my love of science. I even kept the textbook we used that year. Thanks, public school!
Most rich kids just want to be pop stars.
The Hollywood rumor mill has been playing games with celebrity deaths for at least a century.
It's easy to work the system and win these awards even if you don't deserve them.