When Cracked Readers see me in the street, I get two questions: 1) "How do you keep in such great shape?" and 2) "How do you cope with an increasingly confusing world that grows more alienating every day?" I don't know why everyone seems to think I'm qualified to answer that second question, but I suppose I'd have to guess that it's because I totally am. What's more, I'm happy to share the answers to both of these questions with the world in my latest book, How to Exercise: Workouts for Angry Lunatics. Please find some excerpts below and, if you're a person who publishes books, please give me money to make this one.
The main benefit of watching TV is seeing the plight of sad bastards who aren't you.
The 'wellness' market is thriving right now.
Most people have a pretty basic idea of what it's like to be a parent.
There's no shortage of downright absurd conspiracy theories out there.