So, to date the arrival of the apocalypse, we have to do a little math. Because the Mayans never heard about all the good work Jesus did, their year 0 is a little different than ours, and when that's taken into account, the 13th baktun is supposed to elapse on December 21 or 23, 2012. Great. Because the holiday season isn't stressful enough.
"I swear to God, I wish a tidal wave kills your parents."
Dr. Estrada doesn't put a lot of stock in the doomsday scenarios, but during our conversation, he did begin talking very excitedly about some new inscriptions he'd uncovered recently that shed some light on Bolon Yookte K'uh. His translation hasn't been published or peer-reviewed yet, so take it with a grain of salt. The inscription appears to tell a story of Bolon Yookte K'uh meeting a âman-boy from the land of sparks and whispers.â This half-man apparently confronts Bolon Yookte Kâuh on the day of reckoning. After that point, the inscription is badly damaged, and little else after that is legible, except for a glyph meaning âterrible violation.â
Timewave Zero & the I Ching
Timewave Zero is a theory once proposed by a man called Terence McKenna. McKenna believed that the universe has a sort of interconnectedness which ebbs and flows over time. Ultimately this "timewave" will reach a crescendo, at which point s**t will go down. The exact nature of the s**t is uncertain, though from his studies of the ancient Chinese text the I Ching, and a computer program of his own invention, McKenna believed that it would happen in late 2012. Itâs worth pointing out here that McKennaâs theories have been criticized on the basis that he had never, at all during his life, not been on drugs.
Press F3 to invert polarity of horseshit.
Still, his theories have been taken up by others, and I managed to speak to one of them. Daryl Kilsman of Santa Cruz is an expert teleologician, which is a word I think he made up right on the spot. I also feel it's worth pointing out that I'm pretty sure I could actually smell this man over the phone. Kilsman has refined McKennaâs work, and by converting the output from McKennaâs Timewave program into a series of I Ching hexagrams, like some sort of Ouroboros of bullshit, he claims to have found another message. This message, told in the maddeningly vague manner of all I Ching prophecies, simply states the following phrases âPurveyor of cracked scrolls,â âHeaven Beast,â âDangerâ and âGreat Humbling Penetration.â Kilsman offered to share his interpretation of this with me, but by that point I had set the phone down to get some fresh air.