Fyre Festival had the fact that it's a festival working against it from the start. Toss in how it was for seemingly "rich kids," and there's an instant second layer of hate. Everyone wants to be rich, but goddamn do we hate people with money. We don't want to hear the opinion of Hollywood elites. We're sick of your affluenza, and we don't want you getting tax cuts, mocking us in first class, getting special treatment, or smugly not being poor. Fuck you, money bags. And when Fyre Festival comes along to actually fuck you, it makes the rest of us feel kind of nice. It's rare that we get to see the fuckers be the fuckees.
Compounding the mirth at the despair of the well-to-do is the ridiculous nature of their complaints. Of course we all understand you deserve what you pay for, and these people legitimately got scammed. If this happened to you, you would be pissed. But it didn't happen to you. So when someone says it's like being at a refugee camp, but they still have a tent and they actually get food even if it's not gourmet, those complaints come off just a little unsympathetic. Oh, is the concert concierge not available? Well shit, let's call the president, the pope, and Jesus, see if we can't get a team to fix that. Most outdoor concerts are considered a success if you get through it without contracting legionnaire's disease, so let's not feel too bad for ourselves.
The big takeaway from Fyre Festival, and this should have been obvious from the get-go, is don't trust Ja Rule. What are you doing leaving the country and entrusting your safety, your health, and your good times to Ja Rule? It's 2017! You shouldn't trust Ja Rule to fold some towels without starting a fire, let alone organize a massive concert in the Bahamas that's only offering you concept art of your luxury sleeping quarters. This dude spent a couple years in prison for tax evasion. Don't give him your money.
Did all of these people get screwed? They sure did. But man did everyone else think it was hilarious. It's not their fault, really. They put their trust in Ja Rule and some organizer who has since apologized and promised it'll be better next year, as if this pastiche of shit and poor choices has a snowball's chance in hell of ever happening again.
Is there a moral to this story? Maybe it's that we like seeing people taken down a peg. Maybe it's that the commercialization of entertainment is, fundamentally, something that makes us angry on a basic level. Maybe it's that you should never trust Ja Rule.
The proliferation of beer pong and craft beer may have you think that we're living in one of the peak times to get drunk, but humans have been getting famously hammered for millennia. Like a frat house's lawn after a kegger, history is littered with world changing events that were secretly powered by booze. The inaugural games of the Roman Coliseum, the drafting of the US Constitution and the Russian Revolution were all capped off by major parties that most attendees probably regretted in the morning.
Join Jack O'Brien and Cracked staffers Carmen Angelica, Alex Schmidt, Michael Swaim, plus comedian Blake Wexler for a retelling of history's biggest moments you didn't realize everyone was drunk for.
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