Dowd is 6'4" tall, a fact we know because the article says so while never explaining why you need to know that about a lawyer. They use words like "no-holds barred" and "attack" when describing how he works. Again, as a lawyer. Have you ever been to court? Even Law & Order could, at its coolest, only give us Sam Waterston. That's the best fiction can offer. Real-life court is as action-packed as falling asleep on the toilet. Or it was, until Dowd got on the scene with his brutal mix of jurisprudence and courtroom capoeira. Oh, did you have an objection? Well get ready to sustain a broken spine, you crap-shack of a human. You just went Dowd for the count!
Dowd has accused reporters of whoring for the prosecution, and has given them the finger. The finger! Probably the middle one, because this pissed-off grandpa isn't taking any goddamn sass from shitheel reporters. f**k no. He's heading into the courtroom wearing a King-Kong-Bundy-style one-shoulder-strap unitard, and he'll boot-f**k justice right down James Comey's throat before suplexing Robert Mueller onto the shattered corpses of who the f**k knows, probably Obama and Hillary.
Every day, John Dowd wakes up and tongue-fucks Lady Liberty 'til she's good and swoony, then picks up 50 lbs of justice in an Old-Glory-themed tote bag from the White House gift shop, before doing 1,000 reps on each arm until he's so vascular you can see the red, white, and blood nectar rushing through his veins.
via Business Insider
"YOU WANNA THROW DOWD?! YOU WANNA THROW DOWD?!"