While your conclusions are fascinating, there are certain aspects of your journey that for the sake of my reputation (to say nothing of yours) should probably be downplayed. For example, there is the following passage:
"I ran past a bunch of traps that were rigged to fire poisoned darts at me if I stepped in the wrong place. Luckily, I'm very nimble, and I made it to the Chachapoyan Fertility Idol. I swapped it with a bag of sand, but I must have gotten the weight wrong, because I activated another trap that collapsed the entire cave!"
I find this highly distressing to read, as an archaeologist. It is true that the golden monkey statue is very swell, as the kids say, but a millennia-old tomb full of functioning traps isn't just an archaeological treasure; it's a technological marvel. I can't even begin to explain how much we could have learned from this site if you had not exploded it.
And this is to say nothing of your conflict with the German army. As I'm sure you are aware, the political climate in Europe is somewhat volatile right now. Any reference to sneaking aboard a German submarine or threatening their soldiers with a rocket launcher must be removed from the final, published draft. This is not negotiable.
For future reference, the Marshall College Archaeological Review does not consider "All my evidence was confiscated by the government" to be an acceptable citation. Surely you have some shred of proof of your findings? We are eager to see the money invested in your research pay off. However, we cannot publish an article that alleges concrete proof of the existence of a Judeo-Christian God without a single shred of evidence.
If you can make these changes, we would be happy to move forward with your article.