This is, of course, followed by about four pages of writer Chris Claremont playing to his strengths with plenty of halting dialogue, longing sighs, and even some honest-to-God tossing and turning. And to be honest, I'm perfectly fine with that. For me, Colossus and Kitty Pryde's relationship was always one of the weirder aspects of the X-Men back in the '80s, partly because of the way they're drawn. All of the "New" X-Men were originally supposed to be teenagers -- even Wolverine, back before they decided to make him older than Methuselah's grandfather -- but while Kitty is constantly referred to as being "13 and a half," Colossus' tall frame and sharp haircut make him look like he's somewhere in his early 40s. The other part is that time that she begged him to take her virginity before she was murdered by aliens on one of their frequent trips to space.
Comics are weird, y'all.
Anyway, while I'm fine with the end of Kitlossus (yeah, I know, but the alternative was "Clitty," and I don't think Cracked will let me get away with that one), the breakup doesn't sit well with the rest of the cast, particularly Wolverine:
"Are- Are you date raping me?"
This is about where things start to get great, if only because "overprotective father figure who's about to take a heartbreaking boyfriend out behind the woodshed" is the single best version of Wolverine there is, right ahead of "guy who stabs ninjas like all the time."
But on the off chance that that wasn't enough, it actually gets even better when Nightcrawler decides to join in on the fun:
For the record, Nightcrawler is a character who's so devout in his Christianity that he once became an actual Catholic priest, and even he wants to be there to watch Colossus get the shit kicked out of him. That's how mad these dudes are. Although to be fair, he claims that he's mainly there to stop Wolverine from actually murdering Colossus.