In the meantime, I was enjoying the insane list of complications one gets to experience with sleep apnea and high blood pressure. For instance, I can't sleep. Pretty much ever. So if I sit still for too long during the day, I tend to find myself suddenly waking up 20 minutes later with a trail of drool running from my face to my shirt. That's the funny side effect. It also means I need to do twice as much laundry, because I have to change my shirts all the time so that I don't have to come up with an excuse for the big off-color spot on my left shoulder.
Hypertension also puts me at risk of heart attack and stroke, and the apnea itself can help me get fatty liver disease, heart disease, coronary artery disease, heart failure, diabetes, weight gain, irritability, memory loss, and acute lycanthropy. It's basically a nightmare -- except not, because you can't sleep long enough to have really decent nightmares, as you keep waking up and peeing and swearing and whatnot. It's a wakemare. A s****y, fully-conscious experience wherein you realize that having too much salt or a couple more chicken wings could cause you to collapse in a spasming heap. All because you can't f****n' sleep right.
And there are no training montages for your thalmus.