They’re kind words, but I’m kind of afraid the whole time that he’s going to lift up that visor and just be a skull. Again, it’s almost certainly the creepy music, which seems to be a recurring motif in anti-scientology work. The best example I could find is this thing about all the people Scientology has killed, which I could take a lot more seriously if it didn’t use the “Requiem for a Dream” song. When you have to push your beliefs with such obvious fear tactics as reminding me of the movie that ruined my taste for ass-to-ass, my conspiracy antennae tend to extend. Which isn’t to say Scientologists aren’t still nuts: It’s definitely going to be an interesting struggle to follow, at least until all the Anonymous members are distracted by a new LOLcat on 4Chan (this one has three cats, a computer, and corms!). Now let’s hope some guys from Anonymous find this post, decide it insults them, and light up the comments section. Then maybe Cracked will give me a raise and I can afford a can of hairspray and a lighter to combat the nest of bats in my office. I know. They spring for an office, but they leave the bats. It’s crazy.

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When not blogging for Cracked, Michael makes underground cyberpunk videos as head writer and co-founder of Those Aren't Muskets!

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