My oldest son never cared for the Nintendo DSi he got at 5, so I forgot about it. Wong and Cheese and Brockway would write their gaming articles and I'd skip over them -- not because I hate them for losing my venture capital in their Internet Men of Gaming calendar -- but because the subject was just lost on me. To me, Skyrim sounded more like what that stewardess did to me once at 50,000 feet.
Can you believe that this is the hottest pic of a stewardess Getty had? I mean, the best picture I could find of her?
But then came last Hanukkah (or as you gentiles call it, "'Hanukkah' -- am I spelling that right?"), and our three kids were suddenly all clamoring for gaming systems. My wife went to a midnight doorbuster sale at Target on Thanksgiving and secured the last Nintendo Wii for the little one who was jonesing for Skylanders, an Xbox 360 for the oldest who had to have Assassin's Creed 3, and Dance Central 2 for our daughter. And she did it all simply by stabbing several other greedy customers in the eye with pointy Christmas ornaments. Two days later, I bravely went to GameStop alone to heroically buy myself a used copy of Left 4 Dead. It was a Hanukkah miracle. After over 20 years, gaming was back in my home. What follows are the details of my inspiring exploration.