"There is some chance we left a Fruit Roll-Up inside of you."
But in many cases, young adults aren't using school as a launching pad for their lives, they're using it as a stalling mechanism to delay having to deal with the real world - having convinced themselves that they actually give two butts about Russian Literature.
What a Real Twenty-Something Has To Say:
Cracked: What is your problem?
RandyRooney: Pardon me? I thought you wanted to do an interview?
Cracked: I'm sorry, I should have been clearer. To clarify, have you completed school yet, and if not, why not?
RandyRooney: No. I guess not. I just started my masters in linguistics.
Cracked: Wow. The scientific study of natural languages.
RandyRooney: You copied that right from Wikipedia, didn't you?
Cracked: No. It just always takes me 20 to 30 seconds to remember words. So do you actually like linguisting or what?
RandyRooney: Sure. It's pretty interesting. I've been mainly studying semiotics in Mesoamerican cultures.
Cracked: I've heard there's lots of money in that. The margins are apparently just insane.
RandyRooney: Ha ha. You sound like my dad.
Cracked: YOUNG MAN I AM YOUR COMEDY WEBSITE AND I KNOW HOW THE WORLD WORKS. THERE ARE HORRIBLE MEN IN THIS WORLD AND POLITICIANS WILL DEFILE YOU AND WOMEN WILL CAST STONES AT YOU IF YOU DO NOT KNOW HOW TO WORK WITH MACHINE TOOLS.
RandyRooney: I take it that you're done with school then?
Cracked: That's right. By the time I was 25 I had attended three different "Rich Dad, Poor Dad" seminars, and read most of the first half of his book, concluding my formal education. It was around then that the banks and I decided that a future in obtaining small-business loans wasn't for me. That's when I fell back on comedy writing, my safety career.